One Way Street?

I have this colleague at work who I would say is my ‘work bestie’.  We don’t see each other out of work, but we have a really nice friendship in the office.  There is no particular reason we don’t have an outside of work relationship, she has a family and we are both busy.  We always sit next to each other at the Christmas party and we have a really good laugh, we even shop at the same stores and have on occasion turned up to work in the same top, which we think is hilarious!.

Over the years I have sent her daughter all the freebees from the cosmetics companies I buy from, passed on my weekly women’s magazines, her daughter is a waitress part time whilst studying, I always give her huge tips if I eat at her restaurant  etc..

Just last week she texted me as I was leaving for work and asked if I had left for the office yet, I said no, she said she was frantic, she had left her makeup bag at home, could she borrow a lipstick, I said of course! I know what colours you like (we buy very similar) so I popped it in my bag and gave it to her upon arrival at work.  She was extremely grateful and the next day she commented how much she loved it, so I told her to keep it (it was quite new and barely used and I don’t buy cheap makeup) she was delighted.

A couple of days ago she mentioned she was going to the discount store and I asked if she could pick me up some of their anti-bacterial wipes, which she said no problem.  The next day they were on my desk, so I asked her how much I owed her, to which she promptly replied, £1.

It didn’t occur to me at first to think anything of it, and of course I gave her the pound immediately, later that day it dawned on me what a one way street our friendship is, she has never, not once, not EVER, given me a single thing.

I like to be kind, and I will not stop doing nice things for people, but my one way street relationship with my ‘work bestie’ has hurt my feelings and changed the way I look at her.

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29 thoughts on “One Way Street?

  1. If it’s any consolation at all, from what you said here, it sounds like it’s more unthinking on her part as opposed to deliberate selfishness. Not that I have a full picture by any means. EIther way, I can understand your frustration.

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  2. For some people giving does not come naturally at all. From what you wrote it does to you but not for her.
    I can understand your feelings and all I say is don’t let her in any way take advantage of you whilst continuing to be good to her. You know where the line is between being helpful and generous and being taken advantage of.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. I don’t have any motivation other than trying to be a nice person, I don’t have any children so I give things to other peoples etc.. I feel you think I have some kind of ulterior motive? I hope I’m misunderstanding you!

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  3. Well that is a dilemma. I think you have a right to be annoyed. An expensive lipstick vs a discount store bag of wipes doesn’t seem to balance out. To give her the benefit of the doubt, do you think she had forgotten all about the lipstick? On the other hand, maybe it was a wake up call for you re her character. I spoiled my nieces and nephews when they were young, and when they were older (teenagers and young adults) gave them money ($100) for their birthdays and for Christmas. I could afford it and it was just part of what I had always done. One day when the middle one turned 30, my friend said to me – are you still giving those kids money? Do they ever give you a Christmas present? They were all out working by then, but I seldom or never saw them. But no, they did not, nor I realized had they in all those years ever given me a present, or a thank you card, nor did they ever stop by and see if I needed anything done around the house, or help with a computer or anything. Some people are just takers, not givers. Maybe their parents never taught them how to be a giver, or maybe it’s a personality thing. I guess I needed someone else to point it out to me.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Joni, I honestly believe that they were not taught properly by their parents, I was always brought up to send thank you notes and respect my elders. Like you, I like to be kind and I do not expect anything in return, as was suggested by someone commenting! If you give, give wholeheartedly or don’t bother. xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I pray you won’t let your friend’s lack of giving change the generous person you are. As someone suggested, even genorosity is a gift in itself that your friend may not possess. Be you! Don’t be abused, but be you!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. That can make you feel so disappointed especially when you give more then others . Be proud you are a kind hearted lady and for whatever reason she didn’t return the gesture do not let it get to you… I know easier said then done.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Been there done that. In March I spent over $70 for some Birthday gifts (even did the fancy goumet cupcake). My Birthday September.. not even a Happy Birthday 😞 I’m not materialistic so just a Happy Birthday would have sufficed. Lesson learned! ✌️

    Liked by 1 person

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