You think you do, but I promise you , you don’t. Not until something terrible happens. I always imagined I would be a jibbering wreck, unable to function, if I ever lost my Mum. But when she passed away I didn’t cry for the longest time, not properly. I was able to help with all the funeral arrangements, all the paperwork, legal issues etc.. I was told that at the funeral I was composed and dignified, which would have made my Mum so proud. I was able to talk calmly and with kindness to all her many friends that attended her wake. It was only a couple of years later that I realised I had dealt with things far better than I could have ever imagined, this only happens when you come out of the other side of grief. I could not have come through the first year without my lovely Husband Pierre’s support, he was amazing, always listened, looked after me when I cried, when I ranted, when I was quiet, he adored my Mum and she him, so her loss was hard on him also. It’s only when you look back, when you have come through the misery, the depression and the utter sense of loss, that you realise you had far more strength than you would have ever dreamed of. So to all of you in that dark place, mourning or grieving, please know, you will be fine, you will get through it and you will come out the other side a stronger and wiser person.